kalakirya

Title: THE LOCKPICK IS HIS PENIS
Companions in oral not!fic: reena_jenkins, kalakirya, analise010
Fandom: the Hobbit
Pairings: Bilbo/Thorin
Rating: PG-13
Summary: This story contains such diverse and wonderful topics as iron underpants, Ereborean haute cuisine, Gandalf Being A Dick, Thorin's majestic hair, the cultural importance of fans, and far too much laughter to be coherent. This story is rated PG-13, contains the pairing Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, with significant spoilers for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, and The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. Also fuck you, and your mother, and your mother's goats.
Warnings: GIGGLES. Also goats and potatoes.
Length: 19 minutes 46 seconds


download as an mp3 (18MB)

cover by reenajenkins!



Title: Loki Laufeyson: The Happy Hooker
Companions in oral not!fic: reena_jenkins and kalakirya, with commentary by the long-suffering analise010
Fandom: Thor, Avengers (it's distinctly in both! honest!)
Pairings: Thor/Jane
Rating: PG-13
Summary:
This story takes place in the Avengers movie'verse, and contains significant spoilers for the events of Thor, Thor 2: The Dark World, and The Avengers. In addition, it also contains such wonderful topics as fiberarts, family history, zombie goats, Etsy, yarn, did I mention the knitting and crocheting and fiber arts?, family feelings, big brothers, little brothers, socks, and hipster moms. Also, a lot of laughter, A LOT A LOT of laughter. And also terrible puns. This story is rated PG-13, contains the pairing Thor/Jane, and also a couple moments of spoilers for X-Men: First Class. (The collective Yarn Feelings of this story are intense. Brace yourself appropriately, before listening.)
Warnings: FEELS. also giggles.
Length: 27 minutes 42 seconds


download as an mp3 (24MB)

cover by reenajenkins!



Title: THOSE TIGHTS
Companions in oral not!fic: reena_jenkins, kalakirya, with commentary by the ever-lovely analise010
Fandom: the Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings
Pairings: Bilbo/Thorin (also background arwen/aragorn)
Rating: PG
Summary:
This story is rated PG, and contains additional tags for Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Plies, Pirouettes, The Nutcracker, Professional Ballet Company, Overbearing Fathers, Under-achieving Sons, Daddy Please Love Me, Thranduil's A+ Parenting, Gandalf Is A Dick, Ambient Train Noises. This story includes the pairing Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, and was recorded while on public transportation. It was a very spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment, beautiful moment of fangirl friendship... and hopefully, the background noise adds to that feeling of spontaneity, and enhances your listening experience. And hey - now you know the order of train stops for the train into New York City!
Warnings: ALL THE TRAIN NOISES. Also surprise tour-guiding.
Length: 28 minutes 47 seconds


download as an mp3 (25MB)

cover by reena-jenkins!



STREAMING HERE



points: LOCKPICK = ( 5(hobbit)+5(thorin/bilbo) )x2(time) = 10


THE   HAPPY   HOOKER = ( 5(thor)+1(avengers) + 5(thor/jane) )x3 = 33


THOSE   TIGHTS = ( 5(hobbit)+5(thorin/bilbo) )x3(time) = 30



THEREFORE kalakirya, reenajenkins and analise010 each get 73 points

Title: Few So Generous
Author: galaxysoup
Reader: kalakirya
Fandom: Thor
Highlighted Character: Freya
Pairing: Freya/Odin
Rating: G
Summary: After Odin falls into the Odinsleep, Frigga takes up her husband’s spear and the rule of Asgard.
Length: 19 minutes 29 seconds
text at AO3 on LJ
download from the audioficarchive
podfic_bingo - more articulation

Title: For Children
Author: cathalin
Fandom: Avengers
Highlighted Character: Natasha
Pairing: none
Rating: G
Summary: It's crept up on Natasha without her realizing it.
Length: 5 minutes 32 seconds
text on LJ on AO3 on DW
download from the audioficarchive

Title: History of the Kings of Britain
Author: livii
Fandom: Doctor Who (Classic and New)
Highlighted Character: Brigadier Bambera
Pairing: Bambera/Ancelin
Rating: G
Summary: Ancelyn and Bambera: happily ever after, with sword fights.
Length: 9 minutes 57 seconds
text on the Doctor Who Archive
download from the audioficarchive

Title: Her Boss's Keeper
Author: sholio
Fandom: White Collar
Highlighted Character: Diana Barrigan
Pairing: Diana/Christie
Rating: G
Summary: Diana has been working for the White Collar division for all of a week before she figures out that her new boss is, in fact, a thin shell of grouch over a marshmallow center.
Length: 16 minutes 20 seconds
text on AO3 on LJ
download from the audioficarchive


Title: Five People Who Caught Darcy Doodling
Author: seawench
Fandom: Avengers
Highlighted Character: Darcy Lewis
Pairing: none
Rating: G
Summary: Darcy can't always taser people to work out her frustration. 
Length: 7 minutes 24 seconds
text on AO3 on LJ
download from the audioficarchive

Title: Bros!
Author: alchemyalice
Fandom: Avengers
Highlighted Character: Darcy Lewis
Pairing: past Darcy/Tony
Rating: G~PG
Summary: In which Darcy remembers something that Tony (mostly) doesn't, Jane is rendered awkward, and there is some snarking about polka-dot bras.
Length: 6 minutes 56 seconds
text on AO3
download from the audioficarchive
podfic_bingo August challenge - friendship


Title: Your History Written in Time and Stars
Author: such_heights
Fandom: Doctor Who (New)
Highlighted Character: Donna Noble
Pairing: none
Rating: G
Summary: Donna's forgotten. The universe hasn't.
Length: 9 minutes 10 seconds
text on LJ on AO3
download from the audioficarchive

Title: The Next Journey
Author: araine
Fandom: Young Wizard
Highlighted Character: Nita Callahan
Pairing: Nita/Kit
Rating: G~PG
Warning: major character deaths (it's Young Wizards! it's ok! I promise!)
Summary: When she wakes up in Timeheart, it isn’t elysian fields and shimmering marble gates. The sky is blue and there is sand beneath her fingertips and she can smell brine and hear the ocean washing in and out.
Length: 9 minutes 46 seconds
text on AO3
download from the audioficarchive


Title: Women's Work
Author: philomytha
Fandom: Vorkosiverse
Highlighted Character: Countess Julia Vorlightly (OC: Cetagandan Occupation)
Pairing: Countess Julia Vorlightly/Ghem Colonel Tyr Alait (OC/OC)
Rating: Mature
Warning: minor character death, elements of dub-con
Summary: Countess Julia Vorlightly plays her part in the Resistance.
Length: 7 minutes 26 seconds
text on AO3
download from the audioficarchive

crossposted to amplificathon on LJ
crossposted to amplificahton on DW

Title: You're a Rich Little Boy (who's had to work for his toys)
kalakiryaAuthor: snowdarkred
Reader: kalakirya
Fandom: Avengers
Rating:  R (warnings for vague descriptions of torture, permanent injury, ableist slur)
Pairing: Tony/Pepper/Steve
Length: 22 minutes
Author's Summary: Your name is Tony fucking Stark, and this is how it goes: Start, stop, start again. Rinse. Repeat.
text at AO3 on LJ
Download Link at the audioficarchive

points: 5 (reader) + 3 (length) + 10 (fandom) + 10 (pairing)  + 0 (language) = 28
podfic_bingo monthly challenge: beginnings

Title: Crossover Event
Author: haunted
Reader: kalakirya
Fandom: Marvel-verse
Rating: G
Pairing: Jessica Jones/Luke Cage/Danny Rand  (aka Power Woman/Power Man/Iron First)
Length: 11 minutes
Author's Summary: There's no handbook for the dynamics of team-ups, so Jessica has to learn how things fit as she goes.
text at AO3
Download Link at the audioficarchive

points: 5 (reader) + 2 (length) + 10 (fandom) + 10 (pairing)  + 0 (language) = 27

Title: Overheard on the Party Line
Author: bessemerprocess
Reader: kalakirya
Fandom: Avengers
Rating: M / PG-13
Pairing: Steve/Thor/Natasha
Length: 6 minutes
Author's Summary: Darcy and Loki stumble on to something they aren't supposed to see.
text at AO3
Download Link at the audioficarchive

points: 5 (reader) + 1 (length) + 10 (fandom) + 10 (pairing)  + 0 (language) = 26

Title: Much Sooner Forgotten
Author: sinuous_curve
Reader: kalakirya
Fandom: Thor
Rating: PG
Pairing: Loki/Sif/Fandral
Length: 12 minutes
Author's Summary: Neither of them react when Loki emerges from the mirror. They have both seen his most treasured trick a hundred thousand times. Fandral, sitting on the bottom of Sif's bed, lifts his head with tired eyes and manages a small, conciliatory smile. "It's not as bad as it looks," he says.
text at AO3
Download Link at the audioficarchive

points: 5 (reader) + 2 (length) + 10 (fandom) + 10 (pairing)  + 0 (language) = 27

Title: Twist to Fit
Author: zvi
Reader: kalakirya
Fandom: White Collar
Rating: PG
Pairing: Peter/El/Neal
Length: 12 minutes
Author's Summary: They've been together a while now. They're getting comfortable with one another.
text at AO3
Download Link at the audioficarchive

points: 5 (reader) + 2 (length) + 5 (fandom) + 5 (pairing)  + 0 (language) = 17

total points for this post: 125